I’m a narcissistic arsehole. Or a narsehole, if you prefer. Otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this. That said, I know now what real grief is, having not really understood it for 40 years or more. I also know what it feels like to be confronted with your own mortality. These can be challenging and torturous things for the mind and dwelling on them for too long can negatively affect your relationships with those closest you.

Mindful of this, if there is one thing I would ask of you then it is this: Please don’t suffer. Know that I have moved on and wherever I am now is none of your business. Concern yourself with living your lives to the best of your ability, and accept that your ability will change from day to day. You can not be perfect every day, just as I was imperfect every day.

Remember the good times we shared but also remember the bad, and know that I, while selfish and thoughtless at times, was also on occasion intentionally hurtful. There are many four letter words to describe me when I behaved that way. I was only human with all the human gifts and curses you would expect, and some more unique ones I suppose.

Know that I loved those closest to me intensely. Love me for the good times and hate me for bad if you like, and hate me for dying as well. But forgive me quickly because it is not good to carry hate around with you.

I am still with you in one way or another, literally or figuratively, in your memories or in the physical universe I have returned to, or present in other living beings, or whatever you prefer to believe. Wherever or whoever I am now, I will not be happy unless you are happy. So grieve quickly and do not torture yourself for months as I once did in the face of grief. Embrace life and have fun wherever you can. Love to sing, and dance, and laugh, and I will be there with you.